Sometimes I just don’t understand how things between yourself and another person can go so wrong, so quickly. One day you’re the best of friends, and the next it’s like a whole different person has emerged causing a fallout. If you ever read this, person who shall-not-be-named, I don’t want your sympathy or advice, I just want you to be there. But you probably will never read this because you don’t care at all like you say you do. I’m tired of being bullshitted and forgiving you when I know you’re in the wrong. I keep thinking that if I forgive you, you will stick around longer. At this point though, I don’t want you around. I know we’ve been through this before and of course I gave in and forgave you. Fooled me once, shame on you. But fool me twice, shame on me.
Remember that status I updated just FOR you after a month of not talking? Remember when you said that ‘you weren’t yourself’ and ‘you were depressed’ when we weren’t talking to each other? Remember when you didn’t apologize or didn’t comment ANYTHING in response to that status except that you ‘liked it’? I fucking told you ALL my feelings towards you and that was your response? I thought it would make things better but all it did was make me feel like a total idiot. I hope you burn it or throw it away like those pictures I drew you. Fuck you.
Honestly, I thought I loved you at one point. But thanks to a friend, I realized I only saw what I wanted to see. I thought you were nice, funny, witty, and charming in your own way. But in the end you turned out an egotistical slut. I’m tired of hearing ‘She’s always slut’ and ‘That’s just the way she is.’ False. You choose how you want to present yourself to other people. Excuses, excuses, excuses. Fuck you. I remember a time when you sat with me at that table during some occasional party and actually talked to me. It was fun. Today, you couldn’t even fucking wait up for me or talk to me without making me have to snap back at you. Fuck you.
OHHHH AND THEN… I talk back to you and you tell me how I’ve “changed.” Really? Really? REALLY? Really? I’ve changed because you made me that way. How else am I supposed to keep up with your mood swings and your rude comments? I’m not going to just sit there and pretend that I’m okay with the remarks you make towards me. I’m the same me, but with more confidence. So fuck you.
It’s taken me a long time to be comfortable around certain people. Primary school made me a very insecure and quiet person and it took forever for me to be able to open up to people again. I lost my best friend during Primary 6 because of the Tsunami. He was all I had left and even he left me. I didn’t want to go back to school and at one point I didn’t want to live anymore. I don’t have those thoughts anymore but I still have trust issues and suffer from depression.
This whole thing is making me upset and angry and confused. If I decide I don’t want what’s left of our ‘friendship’ to go on, I mean it this time. I can’t keep worrying over what I might have done wrong or if you’re ever going to actual have a normal conversation with me. And again, fuck you.
Oh, and grow some balls for God’s sake if you are going to hit it on my girlfriend. My girlfriend is not what you think, she is tough and I bet she can handle you like how I did.
