.. ‘Cause if you go, I go.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me, and I definitely can’t put it into words. I feel like my life has spiraled out of control. At age 15, I gave up everything I had for a girl who dated me for 2 years before growing tired of me. I put my entire life into the relationship, making sure to take the train (and later drive) the 100 miles to see her every weekend of my life. I lost everything I had at home as a result. Since the breakup, I felt emptier than ever. At age 17, I am still lost.
After losing my friends, I left BNSS remained for me in hopes of finding a new life and getting over my loss. I chose ITE instead of repeating Secondary 4, and hated my life even more when I got there. I dragged myself through roughly 31 days with falling asleep and forgetting everything being the biggest thing I ever looked forward to. After all, the only reason I chose to school there was because it was closer to the girl who loved me at the time I made the decision. By time I moved there, she had already forgotten about me.
Now, it’s almost 3 years since the beginning of my downfall, and I’m still falling down.
I found out a few months ago that she had been cheating on me for the last 2 months of our relationship. With at least 2 other people.
I can’t think of the sorry, sad situation that I call my life without feeling sick to my stomach. I don’t know how I will be able to make it through the next year of my life.
