When you’re love sick, you block out everyone. You feel so tired because you haven’t slept in forever. You know that she’ll be in your dreams, but you don’t want to stay awake laying in bed crying either. You’re starving, but you can’t eat because you’re starving for her. And every memory leaves a bigger hole in your heart. Even your clothes remind you of her... what you wore when you hung out. You can still smell her all over them, even though her scent hasn’t been there for long. You wish her scent would be stuck on you, but you know you’d be pulling at your skin trying to get her off you. You’re online, she signs on, and you want to yell at her to go away, but you just watch the screen waiting for her to say anything, but then she signs off, and you tear yourself apart for not saying anything to her. You stop talking to your friends, and they get worried and try comforting you, but they just make you feel worse because they think they know, but they don’t... they don’t have a damn clue.
What I'm trying to say that, Mellyana and I share so many memories and we know so much about each other. We still make each other laugh and smile... Don’t you think it’s worth the risk to try again? This is ridiculous. I won't patch things up again.
Sometimes, a lie is what I need to sleep with a smile. Because right now, I am trying to be happy that you are just my friend - with the hope that maybe you will love me again one day. Wishing that you wouldn’t get a new boyfriend... pretending that you wouldn’t get a new boyfriend because you secretly still love me. Knowing that you don’t love me but pretending that you will again one day.
